After a rather lengthy absence I've returned to myself. The Reader's Digest Oxford Complete Wordfinder describes "absence" as being "the state of being away from a place or person" and that pretty well decribes how I've been feeling; and the person I've been away from is myself.
It happens every now and again; I withdraw totally into myself and feel very forlorn and alone although not lonely. I don't want to see, talk or interact with anyone and it's all I can do to drag myself around. This patch has lasted 6-8 weeks; I feel it coming on and dread it, knowing what I'm in for. I can also tell when I'm coming out of it but it's no joyous feeling. This has gone on for years and I've learned to manage it and mostly, to hide it. On the surface, all is well; below the surface, all is turbulent (I have never, ever been a smooth calm sea, I have always - been a storm; Fleetwood Mac).
So I'm back and hopefully posting more regularly. I suspect that continuing to write on the blog during my dark days would actually help me but I have no interest in doing it then. Everything is too much effort. I took a week off work to try to break the rhythm; it helped a little.
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